Today, I was given alot of 'advice'. However, here is where my problem arises...all of my friends, are very different. Different in the way that they see things and the ways that they handle particular situations. So therefore, on this particular topic that i was being advised on, i got a variety of different answers. which makes it difficult to actually follow somoeones advice, because well, your getting mixed direction. Not to mention the fact, i dont exactly like to be told what to do. However there is one piece of advice i got today, that i think i have to listen to. Do what makes me happy.
So i am going to do what makes me happy, which is doing what i want to do. May not be wise, and who knows some may be right and i might be learning everything the hard way. But i think i would rather learn things the hard way than wonder what if. I wouldn't ever intentionally make a decision i knew was going to end badly...so i'm going with what i wanna do.
I think, everyone needs to do what makes them happy. If we always listened to others and did what they told us to do, we may have missed out on alot. Maybe this is totally the wrong way to be thinking, but as of right now it seems right. To me, this is just what makes sense at the moment. And its what makes me happy. I've always done what makes me happy, pretty much. I've never really been good at listening to people, and up to this point in my life i have absolutely no regrets. Everything happens for a reason, we make the decisions we do for a reason, and whatever the outcome may be is for a reason. We just normally dont see what the reason is until further down the road and we look back. That's when it all makes sense. I'm striving to go to the point where i can look back and it will make sense. And until then i am going to do what makes me happy.
(:
19.10.09
Craziest weekend...in a while.
Okay, so i have had one crazy pack filled weekend, and i am totally hating that it is monday and it is over :(
Friday: I intended on sleeping in, and if you saw my facebook status, it said something like...."going to bed, sleeping in! text/call me before noon and i will kill you (: " ....well you can probably guess what happened, Amy (i still love you, im assuming you didnt see my post) texted me at like 8 something. So therefore i was awake, and thought what the heck, i'll go to the gator parade w/ mom and peyton. Which i am SUPER glad i did! Jabbawockees (Americas Best Dance Crew winners from last season!) were in the parade! and that was really exciting! Pictures coming soon...i totally caught them doing the gator chomp. Okay anyways...we messed around gville did a little shopping and came home. I was kinda bummed, because we were home early and i had nothing to do on a friday night. Which happens to be happening quite frequently lately. So then my lovely friend Jamie called me, she wanted to hang out. One thing led to another and i ended up sitting in Body Tech in gainesville. I now have a lovely tattoo on my foot(: TOTALLY spur of the moment, but i had been wanting this tattoo for YEARS so, now i finally have it! Mom and Dad took it great so that was a major plus! I was a little worried about how my dad would take it. And tattoos, they hurt...BAD. Just saying. So that was my friday...
On to Saturday: I woke up, got ready and head to gainesville. I had tickets to the Gator game with Kory. I tailgated with morgan for a little bit, then headed over to the stadium, and met Kory. So he hands me my ticket and i look at it and was like wow, those are really good seats for what we paid (16th row, south in zone) so i was pretty excited. However when we start walking closer to our seats i start to realize that yes they are excellent seats, but instead of being surrounded by other orange and blue wearing gator fans that i am in fact sitting in the middle of the arkansas section. There were four of us lovely gator fans clustered into the middle of this section...which led to a very interesting game. I can now officially say that arkansas has the most obnoixious cheer thing EVER and i was pretty sure by the end if i heard it one more time i was going to kill the arkansas guy sitting next to me. Game was fun, but way to close. Then i had the wonderful experience of sitting on a scooter, in gville traffic for an hour. Gotta love Gator Game traffic (: Oh and did i mention i made it on TV! if anyone recorded the game let me know, cuz i wanna see it! 4th quarter at 10:55 left, so loook for me!! So that was saturday.
And finally sunday!: Did the usual sunday morning church, then headed to gainesville with morgan and amy to eat. we ate had fun, blah blah. On the way back we decided to go to jaycees w/ aj and joel. So we went back to amys house, hung out for a bit, then headed out to the airport for the haunted trail. Only to find out once we got there that it wasnt open! (thanks aj!) So we decided to go scare Aj's little brother and sister, because we figured out larissa was home alone w/ them. So we drive all the way out there, and aj parks in the ditch, and dummy me jumps out of the car into a bed of sand spurs. All over my nice NEW tattoo! can you say OUCH! i screamed, then aj told me to SHHH. haa. it was kinda funny. So we scared them, and it was funny.
So my weekend did a very good job at making me not think about the craziness that is going through my brain right now. It added to it in some parts, but for the most part...it was a pretty dang good weekend! Alotta firsts ;) Super ready for the fun stuff planned next weekend...and halloween horror nights next week! i <3 this time of year!! Did i mention it feels AMAZING outside?! Makes my monday so much more bearable. haa.
Friday: I intended on sleeping in, and if you saw my facebook status, it said something like...."going to bed, sleeping in! text/call me before noon and i will kill you (: " ....well you can probably guess what happened, Amy (i still love you, im assuming you didnt see my post) texted me at like 8 something. So therefore i was awake, and thought what the heck, i'll go to the gator parade w/ mom and peyton. Which i am SUPER glad i did! Jabbawockees (Americas Best Dance Crew winners from last season!) were in the parade! and that was really exciting! Pictures coming soon...i totally caught them doing the gator chomp. Okay anyways...we messed around gville did a little shopping and came home. I was kinda bummed, because we were home early and i had nothing to do on a friday night. Which happens to be happening quite frequently lately. So then my lovely friend Jamie called me, she wanted to hang out. One thing led to another and i ended up sitting in Body Tech in gainesville. I now have a lovely tattoo on my foot(: TOTALLY spur of the moment, but i had been wanting this tattoo for YEARS so, now i finally have it! Mom and Dad took it great so that was a major plus! I was a little worried about how my dad would take it. And tattoos, they hurt...BAD. Just saying. So that was my friday...
On to Saturday: I woke up, got ready and head to gainesville. I had tickets to the Gator game with Kory. I tailgated with morgan for a little bit, then headed over to the stadium, and met Kory. So he hands me my ticket and i look at it and was like wow, those are really good seats for what we paid (16th row, south in zone) so i was pretty excited. However when we start walking closer to our seats i start to realize that yes they are excellent seats, but instead of being surrounded by other orange and blue wearing gator fans that i am in fact sitting in the middle of the arkansas section. There were four of us lovely gator fans clustered into the middle of this section...which led to a very interesting game. I can now officially say that arkansas has the most obnoixious cheer thing EVER and i was pretty sure by the end if i heard it one more time i was going to kill the arkansas guy sitting next to me. Game was fun, but way to close. Then i had the wonderful experience of sitting on a scooter, in gville traffic for an hour. Gotta love Gator Game traffic (: Oh and did i mention i made it on TV! if anyone recorded the game let me know, cuz i wanna see it! 4th quarter at 10:55 left, so loook for me!! So that was saturday.
And finally sunday!: Did the usual sunday morning church, then headed to gainesville with morgan and amy to eat. we ate had fun, blah blah. On the way back we decided to go to jaycees w/ aj and joel. So we went back to amys house, hung out for a bit, then headed out to the airport for the haunted trail. Only to find out once we got there that it wasnt open! (thanks aj!) So we decided to go scare Aj's little brother and sister, because we figured out larissa was home alone w/ them. So we drive all the way out there, and aj parks in the ditch, and dummy me jumps out of the car into a bed of sand spurs. All over my nice NEW tattoo! can you say OUCH! i screamed, then aj told me to SHHH. haa. it was kinda funny. So we scared them, and it was funny.
So my weekend did a very good job at making me not think about the craziness that is going through my brain right now. It added to it in some parts, but for the most part...it was a pretty dang good weekend! Alotta firsts ;) Super ready for the fun stuff planned next weekend...and halloween horror nights next week! i <3 this time of year!! Did i mention it feels AMAZING outside?! Makes my monday so much more bearable. haa.
14.10.09
Can't Sleep.
As much as i would LOVE to be sleeping right now, well i can't. I'm wide awake and i have alot on my mind. A few posts ago, i believe i said something about Keystone growing on me, well....I also said that i think i would change my mind. I did.
I dont want to settle. I feel like alot of people here do. I know i have a good mask...i will admit it. I hide alot of my feelings. Which in some cases isnt always a good thing. Most of the time, you wouldn't know that i was upset about something unless i actually came out and said it. I have a few friends who really know this about me. Most people don't. So my mask lately is coming off. Could be good i guess, then again it could also get ugly...because i am tired of holding EVERYTHING in. I think people in this town settle (not everyone, just some), are they really happy? Some yes, Some no. I want to get out and experience places other than keystone. Once agian...this is my mood now, this to might change. Keystone....Keystone also plays games. When you live in keystone you can't help but to play games. im over it. im done playing them, and im done being played.
I'm tired of disappointment. I put to much trust in people, I always want to see the best in people, I want to think that people can change, and that they actualy care. But some reason, that always comes back to bite me. You think I would learn...but I dont. I feel like i go out on a limb, so someone can prove to me what they seem to want to prove, but then they push me off. haaa. funny illustration yes, but its true. I will never understand people. I will actually never understand this world...some days things are woderful...they next they aren't.
Then after writing all this, i feel like a negative person. I think i am in a negative rut. The negative rut is keystone. Maybe i'm being dramatic....good chance. I feel let down, upset and discouraged. HELP.
Bottom line, at this point, i am NOT settling for anything less than the best. I've given out to many chances.
I dont want to settle. I feel like alot of people here do. I know i have a good mask...i will admit it. I hide alot of my feelings. Which in some cases isnt always a good thing. Most of the time, you wouldn't know that i was upset about something unless i actually came out and said it. I have a few friends who really know this about me. Most people don't. So my mask lately is coming off. Could be good i guess, then again it could also get ugly...because i am tired of holding EVERYTHING in. I think people in this town settle (not everyone, just some), are they really happy? Some yes, Some no. I want to get out and experience places other than keystone. Once agian...this is my mood now, this to might change. Keystone....Keystone also plays games. When you live in keystone you can't help but to play games. im over it. im done playing them, and im done being played.
I'm tired of disappointment. I put to much trust in people, I always want to see the best in people, I want to think that people can change, and that they actualy care. But some reason, that always comes back to bite me. You think I would learn...but I dont. I feel like i go out on a limb, so someone can prove to me what they seem to want to prove, but then they push me off. haaa. funny illustration yes, but its true. I will never understand people. I will actually never understand this world...some days things are woderful...they next they aren't.
Then after writing all this, i feel like a negative person. I think i am in a negative rut. The negative rut is keystone. Maybe i'm being dramatic....good chance. I feel let down, upset and discouraged. HELP.
Bottom line, at this point, i am NOT settling for anything less than the best. I've given out to many chances.
12.10.09
everything happens for a reason?
You know that line that everyone always gives you when something doesn't go as you would have liked, "every thing happens for a reason" or "whats meant to be will always find a way". Well, although i would never give that advice because to be honest i just really hate those words, sounds cliche, i'm gonna live by that for a while. I feel like lately, my life will be going really good, and i'll be really happy, and then BAM hello bad week/month, things pile up and bad thing after bad thing happens. Why this is happening, i have no clue, and its getting really old. But i know that everything happens for a reason, because well it just does. So in a few months when i look back everything will make perfect sense, and until then i'm just gonna take it one day at a time.
Another thing, i am staying as far away from guys as i possibly can, i am through with that department in my life for a while, it tends to only end in disappointment. haa. I will find a guy who appreciates me for who i am, and isnt concerned about what i'm not. And i'm pretty sure i will not be finding that in Keystone unfortunetly. It really hurts my feelings that people just dont take me for who i am, they want me to be something else. I want someone who likes me for who i am completely, and wouldn't change the way i see things for anything. Wishful thinking? I really hope not...
and on a totally different note: i have pink hair, and i want more pink hair.
Another thing, i am staying as far away from guys as i possibly can, i am through with that department in my life for a while, it tends to only end in disappointment. haa. I will find a guy who appreciates me for who i am, and isnt concerned about what i'm not. And i'm pretty sure i will not be finding that in Keystone unfortunetly. It really hurts my feelings that people just dont take me for who i am, they want me to be something else. I want someone who likes me for who i am completely, and wouldn't change the way i see things for anything. Wishful thinking? I really hope not...
and on a totally different note: i have pink hair, and i want more pink hair.
9.10.09
bad week.
Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you?
Well i've had a week like that, it seems as though everytime something good happens, bam...here comes something else to ruin the day.
So Jenny, Amber and I had a conversation the other day while sitting in coldstone, we decided that we would wake up and make the desicion to have good days. And ever since i've done that, my days are bad. Ha, then i feel bad because i went back on what i decided. Its a never ending cycle.
I'm tired, I'm stressed and i want everything to go back to normal, or as about normal it gets for around here.
On the bright side...i'm getting pink hair tomorrow.
Yes, pink hair.
Be jealous.
And on the downside, i'm pretty sure my world is about to crumble to peices...agian.
you think i would learn.
Well i've had a week like that, it seems as though everytime something good happens, bam...here comes something else to ruin the day.
So Jenny, Amber and I had a conversation the other day while sitting in coldstone, we decided that we would wake up and make the desicion to have good days. And ever since i've done that, my days are bad. Ha, then i feel bad because i went back on what i decided. Its a never ending cycle.
I'm tired, I'm stressed and i want everything to go back to normal, or as about normal it gets for around here.
On the bright side...i'm getting pink hair tomorrow.
Yes, pink hair.
Be jealous.
And on the downside, i'm pretty sure my world is about to crumble to peices...agian.
you think i would learn.
5.10.09
Ready for the Next.
The weekends over, and i'm already ready for next weekend! I have SO much going on this month! Its getting kind of ridiculous!
This past weekend i was in Atlanta w/ my Cousins and Aunt, then i spent the other half of the weekend at brian and cheryls. I babysay my little cousins, they are just way to cute, and getting way to big. I had a blast with them(: then of course we had to do some shopping in Decatur w/ my Aunt on saturday! i spent way to much money, but came home w/ some really cute stuff! I just love those little boutiques, however they can get a little pricey. Then I headed over to Newnan for the night, and church sunday morning. Its always good to see Brian and Cheryl and everyone, Levi is now taller than me, that is just so wrong in so many ways.
So on to next weekends tasks...I am FINALLY getting my hair redone! BUT i dont know what i want to do w/ it. I want to cut it just a little bit, i'm trying to grow it out, so i am trying to find a cute medium length hair style to get me to the point that i want it. Then we get to the color, i THOUGHT i had decided to go blonder. However, since Heather does a wonderful job at throwing new thoughts into my head...she suggested darker w/ some auburn-y or blonde highlights, like just a few. I'm stumped and have no idea what i want to do w/ it! Well i have four days to decide...blonde or dark, blonde or dark. How am i going to cut it. Oh how i HATE making these decisions. Well if you have any good suggestions for me, please be sure to let me know before friday. i'm open to pretty much anything! (:
Have a wonderful day all!
This past weekend i was in Atlanta w/ my Cousins and Aunt, then i spent the other half of the weekend at brian and cheryls. I babysay my little cousins, they are just way to cute, and getting way to big. I had a blast with them(: then of course we had to do some shopping in Decatur w/ my Aunt on saturday! i spent way to much money, but came home w/ some really cute stuff! I just love those little boutiques, however they can get a little pricey. Then I headed over to Newnan for the night, and church sunday morning. Its always good to see Brian and Cheryl and everyone, Levi is now taller than me, that is just so wrong in so many ways.
So on to next weekends tasks...I am FINALLY getting my hair redone! BUT i dont know what i want to do w/ it. I want to cut it just a little bit, i'm trying to grow it out, so i am trying to find a cute medium length hair style to get me to the point that i want it. Then we get to the color, i THOUGHT i had decided to go blonder. However, since Heather does a wonderful job at throwing new thoughts into my head...she suggested darker w/ some auburn-y or blonde highlights, like just a few. I'm stumped and have no idea what i want to do w/ it! Well i have four days to decide...blonde or dark, blonde or dark. How am i going to cut it. Oh how i HATE making these decisions. Well if you have any good suggestions for me, please be sure to let me know before friday. i'm open to pretty much anything! (:
Have a wonderful day all!
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