Can't Sleep.

As much as i would LOVE to be sleeping right  now, well i can't. I'm wide awake and i have alot on my mind. A few posts ago, i believe i said something about Keystone growing on me, well....I also said that i think i would change my mind. I did.

I dont want to settle. I feel like alot of people here do. I know i have a good mask...i will admit it. I hide alot of my feelings. Which in some cases isnt always a good thing. Most of the time, you wouldn't know that i was upset about something unless i actually came out and said it. I have a few friends who really know this about me. Most people don't. So my mask lately is coming off. Could be good i guess, then again it could also get ugly...because i am tired of holding EVERYTHING in. I think people in this town settle (not everyone, just some), are they really happy? Some yes, Some no. I want to get out and experience places other than keystone. Once agian...this is my mood now, this to might change. Keystone....Keystone also plays games. When you live in keystone you can't help but to play games. im over it. im done playing them, and im done being played.

I'm tired of disappointment. I put to much trust in people, I always want to see the best in people, I want to think that people can change, and that they actualy care. But some reason, that always comes back to bite me. You think I would learn...but I dont. I feel like i go out on a limb, so someone can prove to me what they seem to want to prove, but then they push me off. haaa. funny illustration yes, but its true. I will never understand people. I will actually never understand this world...some days things are woderful...they next they aren't.

Then after writing all this, i feel like a negative person. I think i am in a negative rut. The negative rut is keystone. Maybe i'm being dramatic....good chance. I feel let down, upset and discouraged. HELP.

Bottom line, at this point, i am NOT settling for anything less than the best. I've given out to many chances.