Well yesterday i turned 20! Thanks to EVERYONE who called, texted or wrote on my fb, you all made me feel very loved...i had an excellent day(: I'm pretty sure my friends tried to make me gain 20 pounds by bringing me all kinds of yummy treats.
And as exciting as it is to be out of the 'teen' years...its kinda sad too i think. Looking back now i can officially say that 19 was the craziest year of my life. SO much happened, but i dont regret any of it because it made me who i am today. I you would have told me on my 19th birthday where i would be at on my 20th i probably would have laughed at you, but isnt that how it usually works? For all of those who know me well know how crazy insane fun and at times stressful this past year has been. And i am super excited to see what this next year has in store for me!
3.2.10
21.1.10
Wanna know why? Please Read below...
Normally, when i blog i try not to put TO many details into them, so that in the case that someone was reading it, they wouldnt exactly know what i was talking about unless i had previously told them. Well today that is going to be a little different. (I have happy stuff coming after this little vent so if you dont care to hear me vent please scroll down!)
Let me begin by giving you this quote to read: "People take different roads seeking happines. Just because they aren't on your road, doesn't mean that they have gotten lost."
I have had my fill w/ people. I deleted a number of people off my facebook and if you are curious why feel free to ask, i dont care about explaining at all. Here is what triggered it...
Well alot had been building up...i find it REALLY funny that a person i used to consider my good friend felt the need to talk about me to other friends. So you dont like who i'm dating, you dont like i didnt listen to your advice, and you obviously dont like i have new friends and that im not going out of my way to be friends with you anymore. I dont feel as though i should be the only one working on a friendship...everyone has cell phones...that take calls and recieves them. I was tired of making the calls. and my final straw...since when is someone "turning into an emily" a bad thing? So refer back to my previous post, im deleting negative people who bring me down and not lift me up out of my life. and that is exactly what i did, i do not feel that they should have the privledge to see (& judge, even though they can say they arent) what and how i am handling my life. and i have to say, as much as i miss old memories and wish deep down there could be more...im happy. which leads my to my next portion...
I love my friends, AND my boyfriend (:
I have had more fun in the past five months than i think i have like...in a LONG time. Its awesome to just be able to hang out...and have friends that are nice and fun and want to be around you too. i think thats what i've been missing for a while. Things are going good for me...or thats the way it feels at least. I'm a happy happy girl! Which makes this other stuff going on seem so pety and pointless. Why do i stress over people who dont really care, when i have alot of other people who actually do! Which is why i deleted people...and which is why i will never mention it agian after this post (: I know who reads my blog and who doesnt...so hopefully this answered some questions for some of you. Everyone knows how to get a hold of me...if you would like to talk about anything ya'll know where to find me!
GOODBYE! (:
Let me begin by giving you this quote to read: "People take different roads seeking happines. Just because they aren't on your road, doesn't mean that they have gotten lost."
I have had my fill w/ people. I deleted a number of people off my facebook and if you are curious why feel free to ask, i dont care about explaining at all. Here is what triggered it...
Well alot had been building up...i find it REALLY funny that a person i used to consider my good friend felt the need to talk about me to other friends. So you dont like who i'm dating, you dont like i didnt listen to your advice, and you obviously dont like i have new friends and that im not going out of my way to be friends with you anymore. I dont feel as though i should be the only one working on a friendship...everyone has cell phones...that take calls and recieves them. I was tired of making the calls. and my final straw...since when is someone "turning into an emily" a bad thing? So refer back to my previous post, im deleting negative people who bring me down and not lift me up out of my life. and that is exactly what i did, i do not feel that they should have the privledge to see (& judge, even though they can say they arent) what and how i am handling my life. and i have to say, as much as i miss old memories and wish deep down there could be more...im happy. which leads my to my next portion...
I love my friends, AND my boyfriend (:
I have had more fun in the past five months than i think i have like...in a LONG time. Its awesome to just be able to hang out...and have friends that are nice and fun and want to be around you too. i think thats what i've been missing for a while. Things are going good for me...or thats the way it feels at least. I'm a happy happy girl! Which makes this other stuff going on seem so pety and pointless. Why do i stress over people who dont really care, when i have alot of other people who actually do! Which is why i deleted people...and which is why i will never mention it agian after this post (: I know who reads my blog and who doesnt...so hopefully this answered some questions for some of you. Everyone knows how to get a hold of me...if you would like to talk about anything ya'll know where to find me!
GOODBYE! (:
15.12.09
bye-bye negative people.
So today, i have come to a decision.
I am saying bye-bye to negative people in my life.
People who pull me down, instead of lift me up.
People who could care less about what is going on in my life.
People who doubt me and my decision making.
People who dont care to call.
People who dont care to speak.
I am tired of worrying about it, and wondering why.
I just can't let these people get to me anymore.
I am happy, and thats all that should matter.
All of their negative-ness will come back and bite them in the butt one day.
but i CAN do what i set my mind to..and i am super glad to prove you wrong everyday when i do something you always said that i couldnt do.
So i am going to surround myself w/ my real friends (:
The ones who are there for me whenever i need them, when some people said they wouldnt be.
I've come to the conclusion that people do change, and sometimes not for the better.
But TRUE friends will be by your side no matter what.
And i am HAPPY happy HAPPY that i have finally come to this conclusion.
and i am absolutely amazed at how relieved i feel.
So if you would like to cut out the negative people in your life and want to stop w/ their drama and games, you have to seperate yourself from them.
Someone can't play games with you if you dont play them back. Its like when I was a kid, I would always complain to my mom about some kid chasing me on the playground...and she would say they cant chase you if you dont run. Same general idea...If you continue to LOOK for drama in your life, you will find it. Instead, turn your back to it. It can't chase you, if you arent running.
(:
I am saying bye-bye to negative people in my life.
People who pull me down, instead of lift me up.
People who could care less about what is going on in my life.
People who doubt me and my decision making.
People who dont care to call.
People who dont care to speak.
I am tired of worrying about it, and wondering why.
I just can't let these people get to me anymore.
I am happy, and thats all that should matter.
All of their negative-ness will come back and bite them in the butt one day.
but i CAN do what i set my mind to..and i am super glad to prove you wrong everyday when i do something you always said that i couldnt do.
So i am going to surround myself w/ my real friends (:
The ones who are there for me whenever i need them, when some people said they wouldnt be.
I've come to the conclusion that people do change, and sometimes not for the better.
But TRUE friends will be by your side no matter what.
And i am HAPPY happy HAPPY that i have finally come to this conclusion.
and i am absolutely amazed at how relieved i feel.
So if you would like to cut out the negative people in your life and want to stop w/ their drama and games, you have to seperate yourself from them.
Someone can't play games with you if you dont play them back. Its like when I was a kid, I would always complain to my mom about some kid chasing me on the playground...and she would say they cant chase you if you dont run. Same general idea...If you continue to LOOK for drama in your life, you will find it. Instead, turn your back to it. It can't chase you, if you arent running.
(:
11.12.09
Friends I cant' wait to meet (:
I was sitting at work thinking this morning, of the future people who will enter into my life that I don't know yet. And i have to admit, its kind of crazy to think about. In everyones life, it seems as though there are friends who come and go, friends who are there all the time, and the ones who you dont see that much but they are still right there if you need anything. Alot of things can define a friend, and no one friend is ever the same. You have good friends, and even probably a few bad friends. But going off of what you have learned so far from the friends you have right now and the friends that you have had in the past...do you have any friends that you can't wait to meet? So that is my thought for the day. I have friends that I cant wait to meet (:
10.12.09
its almost 2010!
So its almost 2010! I just got to thinking about that. SO MUCH has happened in my life this year. And i feel the need to recap the past 12 months...I have learned so much looking back.
So lets start w/ January of 2009:
I rung in the new year at Travis' house (ironic huh?). Around this time i was over there alot, at fires and such, however i completely blew him off everytime he tried to get me to let him take me out...I was to hung up on things that had been long over that i didnt want to let go of. However it is all about timing right? So lesson learned looking back: Sometimes there are really good things right in front of your face but you'll miss whats standing in front of you if you are to busy looking back.
February 2009:
I turned 19! woo hooo (: haa.
March 2009:
Still caught up on things that i shouldnt have been...
April 2009:
STILL caught up on things i shouldnt have been...
May 2009:
and STILL caught up on things i shouldnt have been. Except this month was a little different, i was given reason to hold on a little longer. Lesson learned from the past three months: guys will be guys. you cant 'guess' what they are thinking, dont assume. I think i finally woke up this time which i am very happy about (:
June 2009:
Oh geez, what a month June was! I was babysitting a 19 month old everyday from 7-6. Lesson Learned: I dont want kids for a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME!
July 2009:
There was a boy. Who lied to me. I learned that if i dont stand my ground, people will try to take advantage of me. I stood my ground, he thought i wouldnt, when i realized i was, he left. bye-bye (: I look back on that know and wonder what the heck i was doing dating someone like that. However i'm pretty sure i was warned...but you know me, i dont listen to anyone ever. haa.
August 2009:
August was a happy month. I finally woke up and realized what was right in front of my face (go back to january) and i got over myself and went for it. And i'm glad i did, i'm know exactly where i was when it hit me, and i thought it was to late. But it wasnt (: Lesson learned: go after what you want.
September 2009: this month was okay...i guess you could say over this month and the next few i learned alot about who my true friends are. Who will be there for me no matter what and who kinda shuts ya out when things get tough.
October 2009: October was good, until the last day that is. Halloween...oh how halloween got me in trouble. I learned my lesson and am still paying the consequences of that one. Hurt alot of relationships it seems like. I learned that one decision that you think isnt that big of a deal (not that it wasnt a big deal...but like I didnt think the result would be what it was) can turn into something really big and can hurt alot of people. So this month i learned that i can't just think about what i want and what i want to do. I also learned that alot of the time other people know whats best, because they see things differently than what you do. I learned this, now applying it im still working on. Because anyone who knows me knows that i am about as hard headed as they come and i have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way.
November 2009: Tough month. Dealing w/ the previous month...i was pretty much miserable. I learned that people do come around...kinda. That i need to make my own decisions and make them wisely, so that my decision making isnt doubted in the future. If that makes sense.
Decemeber: Well I'm still in this month. And now im just thinking about where i was sitting this time last year. After reading this, you might think it sounds like a typical year, but its def been a whirlwind. EVERYTHING is different. If you would tell me I would be where I am now, I would prob laugh at you. Makes me wonder where i will be this time next year...i have some ideas. But I have learned from this year that things never go the way you think they will. I would never say that i wasted time this year....because i truly believe we dont waste time, because at the time that is something that we really wanted. I have learned SO MUCH this year....its crazy. Its crazy how timing works out perfectly...just blows my mind completely.
So lets start w/ January of 2009:
I rung in the new year at Travis' house (ironic huh?). Around this time i was over there alot, at fires and such, however i completely blew him off everytime he tried to get me to let him take me out...I was to hung up on things that had been long over that i didnt want to let go of. However it is all about timing right? So lesson learned looking back: Sometimes there are really good things right in front of your face but you'll miss whats standing in front of you if you are to busy looking back.
February 2009:
I turned 19! woo hooo (: haa.
March 2009:
Still caught up on things that i shouldnt have been...
April 2009:
STILL caught up on things i shouldnt have been...
May 2009:
and STILL caught up on things i shouldnt have been. Except this month was a little different, i was given reason to hold on a little longer. Lesson learned from the past three months: guys will be guys. you cant 'guess' what they are thinking, dont assume. I think i finally woke up this time which i am very happy about (:
June 2009:
Oh geez, what a month June was! I was babysitting a 19 month old everyday from 7-6. Lesson Learned: I dont want kids for a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME!
July 2009:
There was a boy. Who lied to me. I learned that if i dont stand my ground, people will try to take advantage of me. I stood my ground, he thought i wouldnt, when i realized i was, he left. bye-bye (: I look back on that know and wonder what the heck i was doing dating someone like that. However i'm pretty sure i was warned...but you know me, i dont listen to anyone ever. haa.
August 2009:
August was a happy month. I finally woke up and realized what was right in front of my face (go back to january) and i got over myself and went for it. And i'm glad i did, i'm know exactly where i was when it hit me, and i thought it was to late. But it wasnt (: Lesson learned: go after what you want.
September 2009: this month was okay...i guess you could say over this month and the next few i learned alot about who my true friends are. Who will be there for me no matter what and who kinda shuts ya out when things get tough.
October 2009: October was good, until the last day that is. Halloween...oh how halloween got me in trouble. I learned my lesson and am still paying the consequences of that one. Hurt alot of relationships it seems like. I learned that one decision that you think isnt that big of a deal (not that it wasnt a big deal...but like I didnt think the result would be what it was) can turn into something really big and can hurt alot of people. So this month i learned that i can't just think about what i want and what i want to do. I also learned that alot of the time other people know whats best, because they see things differently than what you do. I learned this, now applying it im still working on. Because anyone who knows me knows that i am about as hard headed as they come and i have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way.
November 2009: Tough month. Dealing w/ the previous month...i was pretty much miserable. I learned that people do come around...kinda. That i need to make my own decisions and make them wisely, so that my decision making isnt doubted in the future. If that makes sense.
Decemeber: Well I'm still in this month. And now im just thinking about where i was sitting this time last year. After reading this, you might think it sounds like a typical year, but its def been a whirlwind. EVERYTHING is different. If you would tell me I would be where I am now, I would prob laugh at you. Makes me wonder where i will be this time next year...i have some ideas. But I have learned from this year that things never go the way you think they will. I would never say that i wasted time this year....because i truly believe we dont waste time, because at the time that is something that we really wanted. I have learned SO MUCH this year....its crazy. Its crazy how timing works out perfectly...just blows my mind completely.
23.11.09
blogging. & horses (:
It cures boredom. And makes you feel better. I think that is why i like it so much. (just a random little fact for you today.)
And i havnt got to tell you all about my horses, so i am going to do that right now!
And i havnt got to tell you all about my horses, so i am going to do that right now!
Meet Roxy (:
Roxy is my paint, and my baby! She has alot of arabian (we say its all in her hind in, she walks everywhere w/ her tail up, and she doesnt like to keep those back legs on the ground) and mustang in her. So i'm sure you can only imagine that little attitude she walks around with. Shes's spunky...and likes to have everything her way. EVERYTIME we get on her, we have to remind her that she's not boss, then she shows us her attitude for a few minutes, then shes fine. Shes such a sweet horse, i just love her to death. And shes gorgeous. She will also be my barrel racing horse (: !! yay! She has won many ribbons in the past and hopefully there will be some in her future! I will keep ya'll updated on all that in the near future (:
Now meet CC (her registered name is Celine's Cowgirl)
She is a registered quarter horse. She is also a very sweet girl, but she just needs alot of work compared to Roxy. She hasnt been riden in over a year and a half, and she hates men (: haa. I've saddled her and groomed her and she does fine, slowly working my way up on her. She threw the last guy that got on her, so we are taking it slow w/ her. Its all about gentleness and patience with this one. But i think once she gets used to us, and getting used to being ridden agains he is going to be a great horse. She is a lot bigger than Roxy, but i think she could turn out to be alot more dependable (less high spirited i guess you could say) than Roxy.
Both of my babies are great (: I cant wait to have them where they are both rideable and people can come out and enjoy them w/ me! We've come a long way with both of them, but they both still have quite a ways to go before i would let just anyone jump on them. They are such sweet girls, they come meet me at the fence as soon as i get out there to them. They are awesome (:
Merry Early Christmas to me!! haaa.
18.11.09
this feeling.
I cannot to begin to explain to you this feeling that i have. I figured that with time, it would go away. But it hasn't, and i'm not quite sure what to do about it. I know how to fix the problem, but i can't fix the problem while i am still living in my house. So do i hope it goes away, or just deal with it forever till i move out? Neither of which i really want to do...
I need to talk about all this. But once agian...i can't. I need a clear answer of what to do...and i pray...and nothing. Its beginning to get very frustrating to me.
And it doesnt help the fact that while i have all this going on...i have good things and bad things happening as well. And it makes it difficult to complain about the bad things when i know about the good things. if that makes any sense? And dont get me wrong, i am very grateful for the good things (aka my new babiessss) but it makes it hard to enjoy when i have so much other stuff on my mind.
Once agian...this all comes down to the fact that i dont like to be told what to do and how to do it. I'm stubborn, and i like to figure things out on my own. I can't do that with this situation...and i am really really wishing i could. For as many reasons that i have to be happy, im not happy. For anything you have to think or say about that last statement...please keep it to yourself. That is the way i am feeling at the moment...and no one else probably understands it.
I need to talk about all this. But once agian...i can't. I need a clear answer of what to do...and i pray...and nothing. Its beginning to get very frustrating to me.
And it doesnt help the fact that while i have all this going on...i have good things and bad things happening as well. And it makes it difficult to complain about the bad things when i know about the good things. if that makes any sense? And dont get me wrong, i am very grateful for the good things (aka my new babiessss) but it makes it hard to enjoy when i have so much other stuff on my mind.
Once agian...this all comes down to the fact that i dont like to be told what to do and how to do it. I'm stubborn, and i like to figure things out on my own. I can't do that with this situation...and i am really really wishing i could. For as many reasons that i have to be happy, im not happy. For anything you have to think or say about that last statement...please keep it to yourself. That is the way i am feeling at the moment...and no one else probably understands it.
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